


Suicide Room

by FantasySwap



Category: Sala Samobójców | Suicide Room (2011)
Genre: Don't Read If Easily Triggered, M/M, Suicide, am I getting better at tagging?!, go watch the film, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 04:58:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasySwap/pseuds/FantasySwap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dominik survives, and Aleks is so grateful for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dominik knew what he was doing as he pushed his way past the security staff. They let him in without a second glance - after all, why would they look closer at him? There was nothing special about Dominik, so he thought.

When he got in, he sat at the bar and ordered a beer when the barman asked him what he wanted. At first, he asked if he had seen a girl with pink hair, but the barman was obviously unwilling to help. Dominik looked around as he began to drink, desperately searching for Sylvia. He felt like a less happy, more depressed version of Cinderella - Sylvia had said she would be here until midnight, and if Dominik didn't show up and give her the pills in that time, he would never see her again. Dominik's heart pounded against his chest and his hands where shaking traitorously: he knew he would never see Syliva again if he did meet her, but somehow he knew she would find another way to kill herself if Dominik didn't help, and he couldn't stand the thought of her hating him when she died. Sylvia was his only friend; she had been there for him when everyone else turned their backs on him, and he wouldn't turn his back on her now, when she needed him most.

Dominik waited for a long time, scanning the bar for Sylvia. She wasn't where she said she would be, and she was nowhere else to be seen when Dominik's watch informed him it was midnight. His heart sank and he felt sick. She hadn't come, she wasn't going to see him. 

Dominik got up, leaving his beer at the bar and walking into the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, he pulled the little bottle of pills out from where they had been hidden and unscrewed the cap, pouring a couple into his palm and brushing them off into the sink. His hands were sweaty, with excitement or fear Dominik did not know, but one tiny tablet stuck to his palm. And then Dominik got thinking... What was left for him? Sylvia wasn't prepared to leave her room, not even for him, he couldn't take his exams because he'd missed to much school, everyone at school hated him, his parents were ashamed of him... Why should he live? So they could continue hating him and feeling ashamed of him? At least if he died - at least if he killed himself - they would be able to say he'd done something truly brave.

Dominik poured a handful of pills into his hand and swallowed them, not even thinking about what he was doing until the second handful was in his mouth and the bottle of pills was empty. He made his way back to his seat slowly, the drugs in his system slowing him down, making everything blurry. He took as large a sip of alcohol as he could when he got back to his place and a tear ran down his cheek as he realised what he'd done.

Dominik felt hot and sticky, and he desperately wanted to cool down. He took off his jacket as if it were burning him and rolled up his sleeves, calming as the cool night air brushed over his skin.

Before he knew what was going on, he felt someone sit down next to him. He turned his head but his vision was too affected by the pills for him to see clearly - it was just a blob of colour and some blurred lines. He decided to ignore it at first, taking another sip of his drink, but when the person spoke to him, he knew he recognised the voice.

'Hey, Dominik!' Said Aleks, tauntingly, tapping his fingernails on Dominik's glass so they made a chinking noise that was barely audible over the pounding of the music. 'What are you doing here? I didn't think this place was a gay bar...'

Dominik couldn't tell whether there were other people with Aleks, but he couldn't see any. He didn't want Aleks to be present for his death, so he picked up his drink and stumbled towards the bathroom, where he sat down on the floor next to the empty bottle of pills. The bathroom was empty save for Dominik and ...Aleks, who had followed him in there.

Of course, this made perfect sense. Not only was Aleks intent on ruining Dominik's life, he also wanted to ruin his death.

'Jesus, you're wasted!' Aleks laughed, and then stopped abruptly. 'Dominik ... What happened to your arm?'  
Dominik looked down. He had forgotten the scars all up his wrist and arm that would be visible if he rolled his sleeves up, which he had done. And then Aleks saw the empty bottle of pills, snatching them up to look at them, and then at Dominik and at his drink.

Aleks lifted up a hand, knocking Doninik's glass away from him as he tried to take another sip. Before Dominik could react, Aleks was standing up, grabbing Dominik's hair and yanking his head back, shoving his fingers inside Dominik's mouth. Dominik retched and Aleks pushed Dominik over so he was in a hunched position.

As soon as Dominik realised what Aleks was trying to do, he reacted, waving his arms wildly and fighting against Aleks, but Aleks was far stronger than him, and Dominik was already weary from the drugs and alcohol. He just wanted to sleep, so when Aleks forced him to throw up once, twice, three times, he had no choice. He laid his head on the cold floor of the bathroom, loving the way the coolness seeped into his skin, and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Dominik woke up in a small, square room with bright light shining in on him through the windows and a machine beeping away next to him. He realised where he was immediately: hospital. And the fact that he was in hospital meant... His suicide attempt had failed. He let out a loud groun and struggled to sit up, causing the heart monitor linked up to him to beat out of time. A doctor entered.

"Hello Dominik." He says, adjusting Domink's pillows so he could lean against them easily. "How are you feeling?"

Dominik didn't bother to respond. He had just tried to commit suicide and had failed; the doctor knew exactly how he was feeling. The doctor shrugged and continued speaking,

'You've been in here for a couple of days. Do you remember why?' Dominik just nodded; his throat hurt. Of course he remembered why. 'Good. Now you're awake, you should recover quickly and then be able to go home. Wouldn't you like that, Dominik?'

Dominik turned his head to the side so he wouldn't have to look at the irritatingly happy doctor.

'Of course, you'll have to attend weekly group therapy sessions and have a psychiatrist see you every three days, but other than that life will be just like it used to be.'

Dominik almost laughed. Nothing was ever going to be like it used to be again.

"Your parents were here for a long time earlier on, but they had to leave. I will inform them that you've woken up and no doubt they'll hurry back. Meanwhile, you have a visitor who has also been waiting a while to see you. Press this button if you need anything." The doctor pointed to a small white button on the wall just by Dominik's head, and then left.

A few minutes later, someone entered. A tall, tanned, handsome someone with a nervous, guilty look on his face.

"Aleks." Dominik said, trying to fill his voice with hatred, but his throat was too sore and he was too drained of energy to bother. It just came out as a weak sigh.

Aleks pulled up a chair by the bed and sat down on his hands, fidgeting a little. Dominik could tell Aleks wanted to jump up and run out of the room, but that something was keeping him here.

"Hi Dominik." He said softly, biting his bottom lip. Dominik didn't reply; instead he just sat in the bed watching him, waiting for him to continue. "How are you feeling?" Dominik shrugged and Aleks nodded slowly. "I, uh, just wanted to say… I don't know if you remember, but I was the one who found you. In the club."

Dominik half expected Aleks to boast that he had saved him and demand some sort of reward or gratitude or whatever, but instead he looked down and tapped his feet against the floor awkwardly.

"I just wanted to say that I am sorry." Dominik blinked, surprised. Of all the possible things Aleks could have said in his position, Dominik wasn't expecting to hear that.

"I am." Aleks insisted. "When I saw your arms, I didn't… Understand, at first. And then I realised and when I saw the pills I knew what you were trying to do and it just… Dawned on me everything we - everything _I_ \- did to you and how horrible and wrong it was and what it had driven you to do. I went round to your house to tell your parents when the ambulance came because I knew I could get there before the hospital called them. I - I went into your room, and I found your laptop open on something called 'Suicide Room' and it was… Horrible, Dominik. All those things you said, you talked about ways to die, about why you wanted to. I had no idea."

Dominik narrowed his eyes. 'Why didn't you let me die?' He asked accusingly.

"I… Couldn't." Aleks cast his down at the ground and Dominik saw something that might have been a tear rolling down his cheek, but if it was Aleks quickly brushed it away.

"I made the choice.' Dominik said, getting angry. "I made the choice to take those pills and to die! It was no one else's business but mine and you _ruined it_! Why couldn't you just let me die? You hate me anyway, what difference would it make to you?" Dominik lay back in the bed, exhausted and sobbing. Aleks looked up.

"Dominik, I never, never hated you. I could - I could _never_ hate you." He said, standing up and taking a step closer to the bed, to Dominik, as though he was about to do something, and then remembered where he was and stepped away. "I'll be back, tomorrow." He said, and then left before Dominik could tell him not to bother.


	3. Chapter 3

Dominik's room was just like he left it that night he snuck out to meet Sylvia, with one small difference: his laptop was gone. Of course it was, his parents had narrowly missed losing him. They weren't going to risk that again.

Dominik had spent two more days in the hospital, and his parents had come to visit him twice a day. They had talked, at first about how sorry they were and how they could fix things, and then after that about random things, like what Dominik would want to eat when he got back home, and how they would have to sign Dominik up for extra classes so that he might be able to take his final exams with everybody else. Usually. Dominik would have been angry with them for talking about him like he was going to survive the rest of his life, but this time, he was happy. He was actually enjoying the normal, everyday conversation with his parents that he used to have before any of this started.

Dominik sat on his bed, enjoying how soft and comfortable it was compared to the hospital bed. His parents were downstairs making him some food that he could eat without hurting his throat. When there was a knock on the door, he assumed it was his mother or father bringing something up, so when Aleks opened the door and stepped inside his room, he was taken aback.

"What are you doing here?" Dominik asked, frowning. Aleks took in the scene that was Dominik's bedroom. Finally, he took in Dominik himself, dressed in the same clothes he went to the bar in. Aleks shivered, remembering how close Dominik had come to dying in those clothes. Dominik saw the reaction and smirked a little.

"I'm going to burn them as soon as I get a new jacket." He promised, and then stopped. Was he… Having a conversation with his enemy? With the main person who drove him to suicide?

Aleks seemed a little shocked too, but smiled, glad that Dominik was talking to him. "That's probably a good idea." He replied. "Look, I just came to see how you were. Other people at school heard about what happened to you and they're sorry."

"Oh that's nice of them." Dominik replied bitterly. "A little too late though, don't you think?"

Aleks nodded sadly.

"Do you think you'll be coming back to school any time soon?" Aleks asked, hopefully.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. Do you?"

Aleks had to agree. He remembered the last time Dominik had come to school: Aleks and his friends had followed behind him, intimidatingly, until Dominik had panicked and ran to the safety of his taxi. Aleks flushed red, embarrassed by the memory.

"I might go to get my books. My parents are making me take classes so I can take the exams." Dominik admitted, and Aleks raised his eyebrows, impressed, before going to sit next to Dominik on the bed.

"Listen, Dominik, what I said before. I meant it. I never hated you." Dominik only nodded, looking down, but Aleks wouldn't let it go. "I mean it. I never hated you… I was afraid of you, because of how I felt about you."

Dominik looked up at him, shocked. He wasn't expecting that; Aleks was just full of surprises. Slowly, Aleks leaned down - Dominik was so much shorter than him - to the thin, vunerable boy sitting next to him and kissed him. It was soft at first, but when Dominik started to kiss him back, Aleks put a hand on Dominik's face and closed his eyes. It was nothing like their first kiss. It was soft and sweet and full of promises.

"I'm sorry." Aleks breathed, leaning his forehead against Dominik's.

"I know." Dominik replied, and then watched as Aleks picked up his stuff and left, casting one final look over his shoulder at Dominik before he left.


	4. Chapter 4

Dominik sat in front of his parents, pleading with them. He was trying to persuade them to let him return to school just to pick up his books. They wanted to do it instead of him, but he knew how that would look to the other students at school. Dominik knew it needed to be him to go, so he could show them he was strong and not afraid of them.

"Dominik, this isn't a good idea." His mother said, biting her bottom lip and clutching her husband's arm worriedly.

"Please, mama!" Dominik begged. "I know where everything is, and you don't! I'd be much quicker!" He looked at his father, who was frowning thoughtfully. "This is something I have to do." He finished, leaning back in the sofa and picking at the bandages that surrounded his wrists.

His mother looked at his father and sighed, consenting.

"Alright, but I insist we drive you there and wait for you outside."

Dominik nodded in agreement, and stood up, ready to leave.

As he got out of his parents car, he pulled his hoodie a little further down over his head self consciously. He could feel other people's gaze on him and hear them whisper as he walked past. Suddenly, he heard someone shout his name.

"Dominik! Hey, Dominik wait!" He turned round to see Aleks jogging towards him. They grinned at one another and then started walking again. "I didn't expect you to come so soon. I would have waited if I knew."

Dominik felt butterflies rise up in his stomach at Aleks' words. Aleks turned towards him.

"So what do we do?" He asked, and elaborated when Dominik frowned, confused. "I mean, do we hold hands, or kiss, or not? Because… If you don't mind, I don't want to hide who I am anymore. I did that before, and I almost lost someone I love."

He looked at Dominik and Dominik blushed, hiding back a smile.

"I don't think we're there yet." Dominik said. "I still have a lot of stuff to sort out, about me, and you. But… Getting there." He and Aleks continued to walk down the school halls, ignoring everybody else who was staring at them.

Dominik thought briefly about Sylvia, not for the first time since he left the hospital. He had no way of contacting her, no way of knowing how she was or where she was. He looked across at Aleks, who was prepared to hold his hand and kiss him in front of everybody, and back at his parents who loved him enough to wait for him in the car when they should have been at work. Dominik hoped that wherever she was, she had found peace, because Dominik was sure he had.


	5. Chapter 5

Beata Sanorski regretted what she'd done the second she closed Dominik's laptop and slid it back into it's hiding place, on top of the cupboard in her bedroom, before anyone could notice she wasn't in the living room, watching a film with her husband and son where she was supposed to be. They had been so wrapped up - or where pretending to be interested in it at least - in the storyline that they had barely noticed her slip out of the room and quietly pad upstairs.

She knew she should log back on to Sala Samobójców and take it back, take it all back, but that really wasn't an option. What could she say anyway? 'I'm sorry I told you my son was dead, I was lying because if you know he's still alive you could get him addicted to this stupid virtual world again, and we might lose him for real.'?

She knew Dominik would hate her if he ever found out what she had done, and that thought scared her. She couldn't give her only son, her beautiful, precious Dominik whom she loved with all her heart but seldom showed it, any reason to hate her, but when her fingers hovered over the 'chat' button, her breathing sped up and her fingers froze. She couldn't do it. She couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk Dominik. She simply wouldn't allow him any access to the Internet, therefore he wouldn't have access to The Suicide Room, so he would never find out. His online 'family' as he called them would miss him, but not nearly as much as Beata and Andrej would miss him if they lost him to that girl and her sinister, suicidal tendencies again. This was the best way, the only way, she decided.

As she closed the page down and slid the lifeless laptop to rest above her cupboard, she sighed a deep, contented sigh. Everything was far from perfect, but thanks to the - physical, at least - recovery of her son, everything was a lot better. Her relationship with Andrej, which before had been held together by a thin cord of hopelessness and regret, was now mending itself as they pooled their efforts to spend more time with their boy. Her boss was cutting her some slack since he found out about the 'incident' and Dominik himself seemed to be growing happier by the day. She had noticed his change in attitude the first time the Lubormiski boy visited. She saw the signs and her subconscious thoughts dragged her back to a memory she wished she didn't have to relive - her at the opera with the minister and his family, Dominik informing everyone there that he was gay and her reaction to it. She cringed at the memory, embarrassed. She was determined not to make the same mistake now, and to welcome Aleks into their home without questioning Dominik's and Aleks' relationship. Besides, she didn't have to worry; the Lubormiski family had a good reputation, and Aleks had only ever been Dominik's friend before now, hadn't he? Dominik had told her so very little about his school life, and she felt like she could trust Aleks since he was the one that saved Dominik's life, after all.

Beata hurried downstairs before her family could notice she was missing and slipped into the living room where the television was blaring out loudly. She squeezed in between her husband and her son and smiled, blissfully happy, as both men leaned in, her whole beautiful family surrounding her lovingly.


	6. Chapter 6

Dominik sat at his empty desk, missing his laptop bitterly. He knew his mother was just trying to be responsible - something she'd never done before - and trying to protect him, but he missed Sylvia, and he missed Suicide Room. He'd grown used to spending all his time online talking to her that the sudden withdrawal from it was making him feel nervous, as though his days were empty and pointless without them.

Aleks was due to arrive in ten minutes; he had told Dominik he would come round at two pm every day to check up on him. He didn't use those exact words, but Dominik knew that was what he was saying. He was making sure Dominik was still alive. Not that he resented that; he didn't. In fact, he was happy that Aleks cared enough about him to go round every day after school and spend time with him. Dominik was happy, he was happy! But there was nothing missing ... He felt like he couldn't completely trust this new found affection he was recieving from everybody. He knew it wouldn't last very long from his parents; they had work to be getting back to once this faze of 'spending time with their son' was over. And Aleks? God, that was confusing.

Dominik's feelings for Aleks were so conflicted he didn't know what to feel, or think, or believe. On the one hand, Aleks was still the gorgeous, popular best friend Dominik couldn't remember why he liked. On the other hand, Aleks was the horrible bully who had driven him to suicide. Finally, Aleks was the kind, compassionate, caring boyfriend that Dominik had wanted for so long. But Aleks couldn't be all three of those things, could he? He could only be one, so which one was he? Dominik was loathed to lay out his soul in front of Aleks in case he betrayed him. Dominik didn't know if he could survive another round of torment and humiliation.

"Dominik!" Andrej Santorski cried from downstairs, jolting Dominik out of his thoughts. "Your friend is here."

Dominik bit is lip. Is he? Dominik thought, or is my _boyfriend_ here, or is my _enemy_ here? And how would I know the difference? Standing up straight, Dominik left his room quickly and bounced down the stairs towards Aleks, trying to look enthusiastic as he did so. Aleks had a knack of knowing when something was wrong, and now more than ever he was not going to let it go if he thought Dominik was the least bit upset.

"Hey!" Dominik cried, overly joyful, causing his father to do a double take when he saw him. "Aleks, come upstairs." 

Aleks grinned, confused, at Dominik's father and then at Dominik himself, allowing himself to be dragged upstairs to Dominik's room, his wrist being clamped in a vice like grip by Dominik.

"Hey, what's going on?" Aleks asked, laughing, when the door was closed and they were alone. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?" His voice was getting more and more agitated and high pitched the more worried he got, and Dominik smiled, genuinely pleased at how worried Aleks seemed to be about him. Even if that was slightly cruel.

"Nothing." Dominik said softly. "Nothing's wrong."

When Aleks saw how calm Dominik was, he visibly relaxed, his shoulders moving down as he let out a long, relieved sigh. He was about to tell Dominik that he had scared him; acting overly happy was not Dominik's strong point. He had done it all the time when he was still going to school, and Aleks had to admit that he himself had acted happy when he was not sometimes, so he could spot someone pretending from a mile off. He was interrupted, however, when Dominik stepped forward and kissed him, moving his hand up to Aleks' shoulder, pulling him closer.

After the half second it took Aleks to react to the surprise, he too was pulling Dominik closer like he had the night of the prom, discreetly, hoping no one would notice and if they did that they would think it was a joke. Aleks needed to hold Dominik, to make sure he was really here and that this wasn't a dream or an alternative universe he created himself to stop himself from cracking up after Dominik killed himself. This was real. Dominik was real. Their relationship was real. Everything he needed, he was holding in his arms, and as Dominik's hand moved up his back, he couldn't believe he had ever wanted or tried to hurt this person in front of him.

When end they finally broke apart, Aleks placed a hand on Dominik's desk to steady himself; he felt lightheaded and dizzy.

"What was that for?" He asked. "Did I do something amazing to deserve that or was I just lucky?"

Dominik grinned back, his eyes dancing, but Aleks detected something else there, just under the surface. Pain, misery. Dominik was hurting, he realised.

"You were always lucky, Aleks." He said quietly. "Always."


	7. Chapter 7

Dominik sat in an uncomfortable wooden chair, his back straight and his hands folded on the tabletop. His home tutor sat opposite him, a very stern look on her face as she took the paper Dominik held out to her, scanning it and looking back at Dominik over her glasses. Dominik fidgeted, feeling awkward. He had had three lessons since his 'incident' so far and all of them had gone similarly to this. They hardly talked; his tutor just handed him worksheets and he completed them, handing back to her so she could check them after his hour was up. Then they would have a ten minute break and go straight in with another subject, spending an hour on that. 

"Impressive." She said in a monotone voice, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I didn't expect quite so much from someone like - someone who has missed as much school as you have." She finished, although Dominik could tell she was about to make some comment about his suicide attempt.

"Thank you." Dominik replied, sounding clipped and defensive. He hated his new tutor. She never spoke to him or encouraged him or said anything to him other than about the work and how he could improve. He kept telling myself this was better than going back to school: He remembered how everyone stared at him and whispered behind their hands, snickering as he walked past that day he went in to get his books. And the time before that, the last day he went in before the 'incident', he watched as Aleks turned around to look at him, and then turned to Karolina, and then after that as Aleks and his friends followed him outside, terrifying him...  
Stop!

He had promised himself he was not going to think about Aleks or about what he was like before now. That may be a bad idea, he knew. Caution kept him safe; after all, what would he do if he completely forgot how manipulative and horrible Aleks could be, if he trusted him implicitly with all his feelings and secrets, and then Aleks turned around and betrayed him? This was a thought that had crossed Dominik's mind a lot since they started ... What? Dating? Seeing each other? What were they doing? All Dominik knew is that Aleks went to see him every day after school was finished and Dominik's tutor/therapist/whoever was seeing him that day had left, and they spent a lot of time together, talking and kissing and telling each other that they're sorry. That's what they did most. Tell each other that they were sorry. Sorry for ...everything. Aleks was sorry for being such a dick to Dominik before, and for pretending that he was someone else when he wasn't. Dominik told him he was sorry for giving up, for almost leaving everyone and everything behind. He didn't want to die. He just ... Didn't exactly want to live any more either.

"We should take our break now, Dominik, yes?" Asked his tutor. "You have worked hard. Ten minutes."

Dominik nodded and breathed a sigh of relief when she left the room, leaving him on his own in the sitting room. His father was in the kitchen and his mother was at work - they vowed at least one parent would be at home with him for the foreseeable future - so it's not like he was completely alone, but suddenly he had an idea. A really, really good idea.

He stood up and walked slowly over to the door, easing it shut carefully and quietly. Once no one could see what he was doing, he ran over to his tutor's briefcase and opened it, pulling out the laptop inside. Praying that it was not password protected, he turned it on and was immensely relieved to see he could get into it easily. He opened the Internet tab and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. He swallowed, nervously, then made up his mind. He had to speak to Sylvia, she would be worrying about him. He would just have to delete the history after he had spoken to her, and no one need ever know.

Slowly, deliberately, he pressed down hard on each key until the words in the search bar read 'Sala Samobójców'. They were words that Dominik was familiar with. He had spent ten dark days of his life, shut inside his room, spending all his time in the Suicide Room with Sylvia and the others. He had no way of knowing if Sylvia was alive or not. Maybe she showed up after he had taken all those pills and retreated to the bathroom, thinking he hadn't showed up. Maybe she had found another way to kill herself without Dominik's help. Maybe she wouldn't want to speak to him, even if they were both alive.

Either way, Dominik had to know how she was. He had to know. He had to try.


	8. Chapter 8

Aleks had seen the front of Dominik's house many times before. As he walked up the pavement to the Santorski's front door, he could see the same front door that was there yesterday. The same windows with the same curtains drawn across behind them. The same flowers and weeds growing out of the pots that stood in a clump on the step. Everything was just as it had been yesterday when he'd last visited, and yet it felt ... Different. Like something strange, out of the ordinary was happening inside. Aleks shook his head, pushing the idea to the back of his mind. He was just being paranoid, he told himself.

When he knocked on the door, Dominik's father let Aleks in, managing a weak smile when he saw who it was. Aleks smiled politely and walked past Andrej, neither of them saying a word. As Aleks walked past the kitchen, he saw Dominik's tutor sitting at the kitchen table, sipping something from a glass and reading, her head buried deep in the book. He was early, so he figured Dominik would be on his break; he would wait for him upstairs, he though. After saying hello, of course.

"Living room." Andrej said, following Aleks' gaze. "Five minutes." Aleks nodded in thanks and proceeded through the long corridor to the living room. The door was shut ... Funny. Why would it be shut. Aleks held out his hand to push the door open, but hesitated. That strange feeling that something was wrong washed over his again like a wave, drowning him. Gripped by panic, he shoved open the door quickly.

* * *

Sylvia prepared to greet Dominik's avatar as usual when she first saw it walking up to her on the beach where she had sat next to him and spoken to him what seemed like a lifetime ago, but then she remembered, nothing about the situation was usual. She was angry Dominik's mother was using Dominik's account, as though she were poisoning Suicide Room just by being in there. Why was she using it again? What could she possibly have to tell her.

She felt a dull ache in her stomach, right where her pain should be, but she wasn't in pain. She was numb. She felt nothing. She revelled in feeling no pain as she dragged the razor across her skin. She revelled in feeling no pain as the tears poured from her eyes uncontrollably. She was confused. How could she have lost someone so close, so precious to her, and feel nothing? Maybe she was in shock, she mused. What other explanation was there for it? 

She he walked forward, feeling empty. "Mrs Santorski." She said flatly, flinching as the animated character she had come to know as Dominik's body was not inhabited by Dominik's spirit, but by the spirit of the woman who had shunned him and driven him to suicide. Or was that her? She couldn't remember, everything had been a blur since Dominik had left her. "What do you want."

There was a long pause. Sylvia thought Beata was not going to reply, but then a speech bubble popped up at the bottom of the screen. That was strange. The last time Mrs Santorski had spoken to Sylvia was through the earpiece. Why not now?

"Sylvia?" It said. The avatar walked closer and reached a hand out. She was too surprised to pull away, and Dominik's hand rested gently on her arm. "It's me."

Sylvia took two giant steps back as though she'd been electrocuted. "What?" She breathed, taking big breaths. She felt like she was choking.  
"What?" She typed back, her hands trembling. "Dominik?" She didn't believe it. She couldn't. This was just someone trying to hurt her, trying to rub salt in the wound. She wouldn't fall for it. She wouldn't be so stupid and gullible, even if she desperately wanted to believe it.

"Yes." He replied, his avatar frowning. "Sylvia, it's me! Why would my mother be talking to you?"  
Sylvia stared at the words on her screen, a tiny twinge of hope fluttering in her chest. Could this be true? Could this be Dominik?

"Dominik? Is this ... Is this a dream?" She held her breath as she waited for an answer.

"Sylvia, it's ME!!" He typed back immediately. "Why would you be talking to my mother?"

"She - she told me you were dead." Sylvia managed to type, wanting to vomit as she thought about the first time she had seen Dominik's avatar with someone else's voice. She had known then, just like she knew now that Dominik's mother had been lying to her. She was overwhelmed with feeling. Not all good, not in any account. Her pain came gushing back to her, her arms stinging and her stomach churning and tears streaming down her face as she realised Dominik - her Dominik - was alive. He was not dead. He had not left her alone.

And then, just as quickly as he had appeared, Dominik sent Sylvia a message saying, "Syliva, I have to go. Someone's here." and dissapeared, leaving Sylvia confused, exruciatingly depressed and impossibly happy all at the same time.


	9. Chapter 9

Aleks was greeted by Dominik, hiding half his face behind a laptop, and looking worryingly guilty. At first Aleks was confused; Dominik wasn't supposed to be using any wifi for a long time, but he worked it out pretty soon. The sheepish look on Dominik's face told him everything he needed to know, including what Dominik had been doing before he arrived.

"Dominik..." Aleks started, but in all truthfulness he had spoken before he knew what he wanted to say, and so he trailed off and stood awkwardly in the doorway, hoping Dominik would speak to him.

"Aleks," Dominik replied, sounding desperate, but whether for forgiveness or something else Aleks was not sure. He closed the laptop down and slid it back into a black briefcase. "It's not what it looked like."

Aleks might even have believed him if it hadn't been for Dominik's hurry to get the words out of his mouth. That and the guilty, panicked look he had adopted as soon as the door had opened.

A wave of anger washed over Aleks. He knew it was irrational and stupid to be cross; Dominik was his own person and nobody controlled him, but why couldn't he just accept that he was going to get better? Why couldn't he allow himself to heal without hurting himself even further?

"Are you sure?!" Aleks snapped, harsher than he meant to be. "Because it looked a lot like you logging into that sick Suicide Room again, despite the fact you were forbidden from doing so."

Aleks cringed internally at his terse, teacher-like tone, but didn't flinch. He couldn't let Dominik think he was okay with this, because then he would do it more often and then he would get bad again and then Dominik would be lost just like he had been lost before. It made Aleks' heart hurt at the thought; he could never let that happen again.

Dominik's eyes flashed with anger. "Forbidden? I was forbidden?! Who the hell are you to forbid me to do something I want to do?!" He yelled, then brought his hand up to his mouth, regretting his outburst immediately. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"

Aleks wanted nothing more than to go over and pull Dominik to his chest and comfort him. Dominik was so small - his head would fit perfectly resting on Aleks' shoulder. But he stood his ground. He didn't even know why, but Aleks refused to let his heart melt at the sight of the boy he loved crumbling in front of him.

"Why did you do it then? It's… It's _wrong_ Dominik! It's so, so wrong! And that girl you were talking to, I appreciate she must have had issues, but she was the worst thing about that place. How could you want to talk to her again?"

Dominik froze, shocked. He knew Aleks could be cruel, but he had thought he was over this. He wasn't sure if his lover was being intentionally cruel, or if he just meant to tell Dominik what he thought. Either way, Dominik felt his blood boil. Aleks didn't even know Sylvia, and he would be damned if he let his ignorant dickhead of a boyfriend judge her.

"Shut up." He breathed, oddly calm even though he was shaking with rage. "Just shut up. You don't know her, okay. She was there for me. She helped me when no one else would and, if I remember correctly, she was the only one who listened to me when _you_ made me want to _die_!"

Dominik didn't care if he was screeching towards the end of his sentence. He didn't care that he was hurting Aleks by bringing up old, painful memories they both thought the other had buried. He didn't even care when a single tear slid down Aleks' cheek. He couldn't stop himself.

"At least I didn't _persuade_ you to kill yourself." Aleks said softly.

Dominik blanched, his face drained of all colour, before his lip curled up. His face distorted with rage as he stepped forward.

"Get out." He hissed. When Aleks refused to move, he repeated it, louder this time. "Get _out_!"

Aleks made no indication to move and Dominik stepped towards him. Before either of them knew what they were doing, Dominik reached out his arms and pressed them against Aleks' chest, shoving as hard as he could. Unfortunately for Dominik, Aleks was a lot stronger than him and he only stumbled a little before regaining his balance. He took one step towards the smaller boy and his face was terrifying. With a choking sob, he raised his hand and slapped the love of his life.

On reflection, Aleks thought if it had been a punch, it wouldn't have been so bad. If he had hit or punched or kicked or scratched at Dominik like a wild animal, he wouldn't have felt like such a monster as soon as he realised what he'd done. It was the fact that it was a slap, a real life, actual _slap_ , that made it a million times worse.  
He stepped back suddenly, gasping. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide; he let his hand fall limply to his side.

Dominik still hadn't turned his head to look at Aleks again, but he wasn't saying anything either.

"Dominik, I…" Once again, Aleks was at a loss for words. He couldn't comprehend what he had just done. He had hit Dominik. He had hit Dominik. He had hit Dominik. He let the words sink in.

"Oh my God. Oh my God, Dominik, I'm so sorry." He whispered, tears forming in his eyes. He wished Dominik would just look at him, but at the same time he didn't want to see the mark he had left on the boy's cheek, or see the irreparable damage he had caused in the boy's eyes. He knew he couldn't take this back.

"I think I should go." Aleks sobbed, trying to stay calm, but knowing what he was about to do was going to break his heart. "I think I should go and - and I don't think I should come back."

Dominik was looking at him now, wide eyed and terrified. He seemed to understand what Aleks was saying and it made Aleks' heart tear a little bit at the seams to think the idea was scaring Dominik.

"I just… God, Dominik. I'm so sorry. I just don't think we're a good idea. I think I should go."

Despite his words, Aleks didn't move to leave straight away. Dominik took a step forward and at first Aleks thought he was going to hit him. That was good - he deserved to be hit. Instead, Dominik put a hand on Aleks' cheek softly and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. Tears ran down both their faces as they broke apart.

"You silly boy." Dominik breathed. "We were the only good idea you ever had"

Aleks left feeling evil as Dominik's beautiful eyes burnt into the back of his neck.

What had he done?

 


	10. Chapter 10

Aleks left knowing he had made a mistake. He didn't know if he imagined the scream and smash of an object being hurled against a wall, but he had to fight against himself to stop himself from running back to Dominik.

Aleks wasn't thinking straight when he told Dominik they shouldn't be together. He needed Dominik far more than Dominik needed him, he knew that. 

A cry from across the road caused Alwks to look up in confusion, and he winced when he saw a group of his friends there, waving frantically and beckoning him over. Aleks debated against running away, but then decided he at least owed them an explanation as to why he had been spending all his time away from them. If they hadn't got the picture from when Dominik came into school with Aleks, then he would set them straight now. Only now they weren't together...

"Where's Dominik?" One boy -Aleks really wasn't concentrating enough to see who said it - smirked. "Aren't you two, like, joined at the hip or something?"

"Shut up." Aleks mumbled, not wanting a fight right now. He was still going through everything that had happened in his mind. It hadn't really hit him yet: the full force of the situation. What if Dominik wasn't thinking clearly and he tried something stupid. Aleks didn't think he could rise losing him again.

"Yeah!" Said another boy. "Rumour has it that you two are, like, dating now. We decided we wouldn't believe it till we saw it." 

The look on the boy's face told Aleks that they all already knew exactly what was going on between Doninik and him, and suddenly a rush of anger washed over Aleks and he found himself struggling not to hit one of his friends.

"Shut up, okay! Just shut up! You know me and Dominik were dating! You know that! And Yknow what? I don't care! Because... Because I love him."  
he said the last bit quietly, almost reverently as he realised how true it was. The boy that had spoken first took a step back, shocked, but the other was not so easily stunned into silence.

"Were?" He questioned, quoting Aleks.

Aleks nodded and blinked in surprise at the sudden revelation. "Yeah. Because I totally messed up, but I'm gonna make it right. I'm gonna get him back!"'

With a happy cry, he turned round and took off running towards Dominik's house without a backwards glance at his friends. When he got there he beat on the door loudly and, when Doninik angrily yanked it open, opening his mouth to ask what the hell was so important, he jumped inside and pulled Dominik into a hug. Dominik struggled at first, but eventually gave in, melting into the hug and burying his face in Aleks' shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I love you." Aleks said, only pausing to place soft kisses on Dominik's head. Dominik, who didn't seem at all surprised at what had just happened, smiled up at him and repeated the only three words Aleks wanted to hear right then.

I. Love. You.

Notes  
This is the end of the story, and I apologise for the abrupt ending but I feel I owe you guys - because saying 'guys' makes me feel like I have more readers than I actually do ... - an explanation. After a specific incident that happened recently, I felt I could no longer write about this particular subject, although I do love the film and always will do. I didn't want to just leave it like it was or for it to have a sad ending, so I hope you guys all enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.  
Stay strong. Nothing in life is worth taking your own life for. In one, or two or ten years time you will look back at what you're going through and however terrible it may seem now, it will seem insignificant in the future. Please promise me you will live to look back and laugh at your problems.  
Love always. <3


End file.
